


Wait Before You Leave

by theselittlethings



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Actually Softer Than It Sounds, Come Shot, Dirty Talk, Don't get caught, Dry Humping, Exhibitionism, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Has Two Meanings In This Case, Humiliation, Inappropriate Use of Lightsabers, Jedi Training, Lightsaber Used as a Sex Toy, Object Insertion, Object Penetration, Porn with Feelings, Post Facto Sex, Post-Canon, Post-E9, Reylo - Freeform, Secret Relationship, Size Kink, Smut, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 01:51:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17653748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theselittlethings/pseuds/theselittlethings
Summary: After breaking months of tension by visiting him in his bed, Rey is hesitant to address it with Kylo despite knowing he plans to leave the Resistance in a few days. He presses the matter when they train, inadvertently inspiring a desire she didn’t realize she had — one that tempts her to sneak into his room and take matters into her own hands to find her release.AND/ORLater that night Kylo finds Rey trying to fuck herself with his lightsaber, but she can’t make it fit. He’s more than happy to assist.





	Wait Before You Leave

**Author's Note:**

> This is my 10th work for this ship apparently. Don't really know what to say for myself for writing this one lol. Inspired by the following prompt on the Reylo Hard Kinks Tumblr:
> 
> "Kylo walks in on Rey fucking herself wih his lightsaber, he playfully shames her knowing she gets off on that. Rey struggling to get the lightsaber inside of her and tearing up in frustration is a bonus."
> 
> So uh yeah mind the tags and enjoy

Rey grunts when his training staff hits her calf, glaring down at the spot as she staggers backwards to reposition her stance. She twirls her own staff behind her back and blows a stray lock of hair from her cheek when she turns to meet Kylo’s gaze.

“Distracted?” He maintains his usual unamused expression despite the teasing air of his question. “You should have dodged that one.”

She isn’t sure if her cheeks flush from exertion or the suggestion behind his words, changing her grip on her staff to relieve the flutter of recent memory tightening her chest.

“No,” she lies, “just tired.”

It takes effort not to look away but Kylo does instead, watching her feet as she fumbles to pull down the bottom edge of her white camisole rolling up her stomach. 

“Of course,” he murmurs with a smirk. “I’m sure there’s nothing else on your mind.”

Rey bites the skin behind her lip, glancing to the open doorway to confirm no one’s puttering around the gymnasium’s main room. Kylo breaks the silence before it has a chance to grow,

“Doesn’t matter how much you shield your end.” He plants the end of his staff on the mat like a walking stick, not needing to refer to their bond specifically for her to know what he means. “You make it obvious enough with that face.”

She knows how fake her laugh sounds when she rolls her eyes, trying to appear unimpressed despite being so obviously unsettled. Kylo brushes past her to peek into the other room, coming just close enough for the smell of his sweat to make her grind her teeth.

“Wishful thinking,” she huffs at his back, trying to slow the increasing pace of her heartbeats.

“If you say so.”

He doesn’t turn to her and it makes her nervous, challenging him to make the awkward moment pass, “Best two out of three —”

“You know it’s more common to discuss these things than pretend they didn’t happen, Rey.”

She swallows when her knees feel hollow, pressing her lips to a line to let the sentence hang in the air between them. It’s said so flatly, like he’s reading off a list, but it manages to wind the unspoken tension in her gut even more. She places her staff on the floor and the clatter prompts Kylo to face her again.

“If you say so,” Rey parrots, adjusting one of her messed buns to busy her hands.

Her thighs rub together unconsciously when a familiar curiosity darkens his features, her chest heaving just slightly when it’s harder to take a breath. In reality she’s surprised he held out this long. She expected him to demand an explanation as soon as she arrived at the door of his solitary cabin at the treeline of the wide grassy field bordering the northern side-exit of the Resistance base. But he managed to wait until they walked to the gym, accepting her hollow excuse that she came by in search of a sparring partner despite having plenty of other options available. He grinds the end of his staff into the floor when he leans against the door, raising his eyebrows when he cuts to the chase.

“You could have stayed the night.”

Rey’s mouth dries as all the lines she mentally rehearsed lurch back down her throat. She blinks when her limbs freeze in place, trying to dismiss the intrusive reminder of how his breath hitched so similarly when she licked her teeth and told him not to stop. Her staff rolls a couple inches forward when she nudges it with her toe, remembering the way he watched her silently when she rushed to get dressed after returning from the fresher. 

“I know” is all she says instead.

There’s a beat before he speaks. “But you didn’t.”

“No,” she agrees, “I didn’t.”

Kylo offers a perfunctory nod like that was exactly the response he expected. “Anything else?”

Rey drops her hands to her sides, balling them into fists to redirect the anxious energy circuiting her nerves. She shakes her head and Kylo sighs, moving past her again towards the equipment shelves on the opposite wall. He tosses his staff back into its rack a little more roughly than necessary, pausing a moment to run his fingers through his hair. She wonders if his leather gloves tug his scalp at all, if his palms get sweaty beneath them much like hers are right now.

But he doesn’t press her any further and Rey realizes he’s anticipating some sort of answer. She coughs to dislodge the crawling inside her and crosses the mats to sit on the backless wooden bench a few inches from his knees. He shifts his jaw in profile when she tilts her chin up to study his expressive face from below, resettling her hips as he looms above her. She checks her tether to their bond to confirm she’s sealed away his potential intrusion before forcing the phrase she prepared from her lips.

“Last night was a mistake, Ben.” He doesn’t move and Rey isn’t sure he heard her, maintaining his prim defensive posture as she scrambles to elaborate, “You’re — You’re leaving soon anyways.”

Kylo doesn’t protest, shrugging his shoulders when he strides away to retrieve her training staff from the mat and return it to the racks. This time he pivots to observe her closely, coming around to stand in front of her knees. Her blush deepens and Rey curses her body for betraying her indecision so opaquely. She folds her hands across her lap and gazes up from his boots to trace the lines of his black trousers and the gray sleeveless shirt he wears when they train.

He doesn’t say anything until her eyes meet his for a few seconds. “Three standard days.”

“Exactly.” She reverses his earlier comment to keep the conversation going, blurting out the first thing that comes to mind without considering its meaning, “You could have stayed too.”

It’s evident he makes an effort to keep his breaths even, but he can’t steady the frustration underpinning his tone. “You know I can’t do that, Rey.”

She wrings her fingers as one of his feet turn slightly in. Her pulse thrums loudly in her ears when she regrets her brief impulsivity, already telling him much more than she wanted to say. Kylo told her he would be leaving shortly after he dropped his bag in his cabin, cloistered away from the spectre of his transgressions that shadows his every step around the base. She doesn’t want to admit that he’s right, that he’d never quite fit here no matter what he’s done to prove his loyalty to her. That he’d never be accepted by the Resistance no matter how much she secretly hoped to be wrong.

“…Exactly,” she repeats, more hesitantly than intended.

Something presses on her seal over their bond, nudging lightly to test its strength. It yields a little, like a bandage dipping against stung skin, and Rey narrows her eyes as she swats away his feeble attempt to read past her words. The scent of his drying sweat makes everything feel too cramped and she scooches down the bench to put more distance between them, trying to ignore the warmth unfurling between her thighs.

She stares at his lightsaber and holster resting on the seat beside her, exhaling slowly when she hears him shuffle close. Kylo falls to his knees in her periphery, perching below her as he leans further in,

“Are you sure it was a mistake?”

Rey nods quickly, refusing to meet his eyes when he brushes against her defenses again. She softens her expression when a beat of longing sears in her chest, one that she knows is not her own — nodding again to reaffirm her statement even as she starts to squirm.

“It didn’t feel like a mistake to me,” he murmurs, covering her hands in her lap with his own.

Kylo squeezes them lightly, sliding down to rest his palms on her kneecaps. His fingers span on her leggings, tapping up the pictures in her mind that kept Rey awake the night before. The ceiling of her narrow quarters spun with the confusion muddling her thoughts, unable to set aside the rush of rightness she felt when she trembled beneath him on his bed. She slipped her hand into her shorts and felt the evidence of her prior arousal in her unchanged drawers, smudging the drying fabric against her worked and slicked entrance. It didn’t feel like a mistake to her then either, despite all the effort she put into shutting away his quiet pleas to cross the field again to lay by his side.

The thin fabric of her camisole feels too close to her skin when she inches her legs apart just slightly beneath his touch.

“You’re thinking about it right now, aren’t you?”

She knows she isn’t glaring like she wants to when she startles to look at him, drawn from her brief reverie by the heaviness in his voice. His palms slither inward to rest inside her thighs, pressing just enough to coax her open a little more. He pauses to gauge her reaction, waits for the moment to build between them before slowly rising to clutch her shoulders gingerly. He stares hard, making Rey’s heart thump so loud that she fears it’ll exit her chest.

“You don’t have to tell me.” Another beat. “I already know you are.”

“What — What’s the point, Ben?” Rey sputters, taking on a disbelieving tone but not shrugging his hands away. “You’re going away and —”

“The war is over…”

Her eyes widen with his interruption, her stomach flipping in anticipation of what she knows he’ll say next.

“…There’s nothing forcing you to stay.”

Rey balks immediately at his suggestion despite everything leaping to attention inside her, shaking her head as she opens her mouth to speak —

“What’s stopping you, Rey?”

She presses her lips to a line when his simple question sucks all the air from the room. It’s not unlike the teetering sensation from when their bond first opened and the sting of nostalgia reminds her of when she alone had faith he would one day return. But even now when he’s kneeling before her, already proven himself to her and the Resistance at large, she can’t dismiss that part of her insisting it’s irrational to entertain any idle fantasies of a future with him in it — even though she can’t quite explain why.

She decides to be honest. “I don’t know.”

“Mmm,” he hums, more to himself than to her, glancing down at her hands when he lowers his to wrap around her waist. She lets him tug her in, scooting to the edge of the bench when he brings his lips to her ear, “It’s okay. There’s still time for you to decide.”

His chest is so close to hers and he feathers his nose along the slope of her neck, crawling between her opened legs when he grazes her exposed collarbone with his mouth. Rey angles into his embrace, shuddering softly against him as she allows him to ease her down from the seat to join him on the ground. The bench's edge bites her spine when she watches him slink between her legs, her knees falling open while she keeps her feet flat on the floor.

Something knots between her ribs when he cages her in further, making her clench up when he whispers, “Are you sure it was a mistake?”

Rey shakes her head when he bends back and starts to rub the inside of one of her thighs. “I… I don't know.”

His digits tap up along the thin fabric, drumming small tremors from her heightened nerves when he stops beside her entrance. Her hips shift as her center feels fuzzy, blushing again when the scent of her excitement wafts briefly in her nostrils. Kylo hesitates another second, his hand lingering by her crotch when he asks,

“I think you do know, Rey.”

She gulps, peeking around his broad frame to the opened doorway before turning back to meet his half-lidded eyes. He inches just a little closer, halting again to ask,

“You want me to stop?”

She doesn't mean to shiver in response, doesn't mean for her body to anchor her in place. Her cheeks burn and her leg trembles, her mouth dropping open when she murmurs,

“…Don't stop…”

He acknowledges her confession with a nod, dawdling his hand as he traces a line down & in to push against her. His fingers wiggle to smear the fabric into her folds, smirking when she starts to fidget.

“I don't think it was a mistake,” Kylo reiterates, emphasizing each syllable like he plucks them from the tension filling the empty room. “You still don’t trust me after everything we’ve been through?”

Rey’s unsure why he’s managed to silence her at every turn. He plants a kiss on her nose, endearingly chaste despite his roving fingers — and rests his forehead on hers to peer down and watch himself knuckle against her clit. She squeezes her eyes shut when she rocks against him softly, silently worrying that her wetness will seep through her leggings.

“It’s — It’s not that, Ben —”

A sharp inhale halts her words when he adjusts the angle, spiking the warmth coursing between her hips. She tilts her head up and sighs, her shoulders relaxing as he sweeps in to kiss her eagerly. Her pulse speeds when she deepens it, chasing the peculiar surge of completion she felt the night before, like her body was made to fit his. She runs her fingers through his hair and ruts on his hand, relenting to the desire building inside her as he tastes her & she nips his bottom lip. Another pang of desperation stings her defenses as she moans into his mouth, muffled by his tongue and the vibrations of their bond buzzing in agreement.

Kylo breaks their embrace with a penetrating stare, cupping one cheek with his unoccupied hand. “Scared of what your friends will think?”

She blinks before looking down, her camisole scrunched above her breasts with her band loosened and folded below them. His glove grazes up from her cunt and traces lines along the plane of her stomach, lingering in the moment’s silence before coming up to pinch one of her pebbled nipples.

Rey grits her teeth even though it doesn’t hurt, shaking her head profusely to counter his assumption despite the guilt gnawing her chest. “It’s — No, it’s not —”

Kylo realizes he’s struck a nerve, grinning wolfishly when he pricks the other a little more harshly. “You sure?”

“I — I don’t —” She tries to silence him with another kiss, but he pulls back, cupping her other cheek to make sure she doesn’t turn away.

“You sure about that?”

Her eyes widen, her face feels hot, and suddenly she forgets how to speak. He glances to the open doorway, turning back with an eyebrow raised,

“What would they say if they saw you right now?” He grabs her tits, covering both completely when he breathes into her ear, “Being so indecent like this?”

Something in the way he says it makes her freeze again, her stomach flipping when she imagines a shocked mechanic walking in then running back to base to knock on Finn or Rose’s door. She’s overly aware of how compromised she’d appear with Kylo perched between her open legs when he feathers her with his teeth,

“Knowing how hot you get for me?”

And that seems to ignite something inside her despite the shame swelling in her chest. Her mind rushes with excuses — the low roll of his voice, the downward movement of his hands, the memory of coming hard the night before — but she still clenches up when he goads her again,

“Are you always so easy to turn on?”

Rey licks her lips when he thumbs the hem of her leggings, curling into her underwear to brush along her hair. She blinks before grabbing his wrist, surprising herself when she guides it further in. Her cunt makes a tiny damp sound when he slinks a single finger inside, his mouth falling open with a glimmer of amazement crossing his features,

“You’re so wet already…”

He wriggles it just enough to make her moan and she tightens her jaw to stifle the sound. The leggings snap back flush when he withdraws, drawing a slick line across her stomach to wipe off his glove. She tenses and moves towards his mouth again, but Kylo pushes her back —

“So fucking shameless, here where anyone can see you?”

— this time casting roughly into their bond for a flash of her lust and anxiety to pass through. Rey fortifies her defense hurriedly, clumsily sealing it back as he reads the wanton thrill of potential exposure seeping from her imperfect repair. It’s confusing and overwhelming, being so heated by the idea of potentially revealing this coveted piece of herself kept so close… of being seen as an aberration of the modest woman the Resistance thinks she is on base.

They kiss again, grabbing each other more fervently as the sentiment becomes more intense. She yields to the heightened perception of her desire as it melds with his, bleeding through their connection as he surrenders some of his shield as well. He kneads her cunt again, groaning into her when he feels her tighten through the fabric,

“You want to ride my cock right now? Right here like this?”

She nods when he bites her shoulder, bouncing her pelvis against his hand when he slides behind her leggings to trace the seam of her pussy, stopping a second before shoving two fingers inside. His tone comes low again, heavy with meaning,

“This is very irresponsible, Rey, most unfitting behavior for a Jedi.”

He smiles against her and comes up to meet her lips. She circles his neck to press close, rocking against his fingers as he thumbs up to find her clit. The slightly-raised stitches along the length of his glove provide traction when he flicks over, making her swell up beneath.

She wrings hard around him. “Yes, right there, just like that, keep —”

A sharp breath swallows her words as she builds and her clothes grow more restrictive. Rey scrambles to peel her leggings down, her lower half squirming when Kylo keeps his hand in place. He pushes deeply despite hindering her attempts to move things along, his voice raw when he taunts her more,

“So desperate to get fucked you can’t even wait to return to base?”

She babbles breathlessly, her insides coiling when she sighs, “Y — Yes, please —”

There’s a wet sound when he withdraws, slowly dragging along her walls to hear her moan emptily. He grabs her hands to halt her movements, spreading her slick along one wrist when he guides them away to keep her pants in place. Rey shakes her head and struggles against his grip, increasingly brazen in spite of her convoluted misgivings. Her features soften when he says,

“You’re such a fucking tease, begging me out in the open like this?”

“Ben —”

“How much do you want me to fill up your tight little cunt again?”

Kylo drops her wrists but she keeps them pinned in place, chest heaving with expectation when one of his hands fumbles blindly on the bench. She hears a metallic clatter then a hollow clunk, glimpsing down at his tented trousers as he tries to keep his attention on her bitten lips. Rey repositions her feet to keep her knees open and everything feels thick & strung, her head swimming and her nerves shrieking to be touched.

“Please, Ben, I —”

She gasps when he thrusts something hard against her crotch, mouth hanging open when she looks down to see him rubbing her cunt with the end of his lightsaber through her clothes. His wide hand clutches below the crossguard to guide the ring circling over her clit, applying more pressure when he sees her expression change. He dips a corner along her borders, shifting his jaw as he watches her bounce again, observing her rocking hips like he’s conducting an experiment.

And she can tell that her reaction is even more than he had hoped for, noticing him tug the end of his erection to adjust where he strains his pants. Rey grinds against the saber faster, bucking hard to chase some relief despite the sensation being muted through her clothes. Her noises grow louder as she tries to picture him holding her down to seal the gnawing emptiness with his cock, but she keeps imagining her cunt stretching to take the handle’s thick bottom ring instead. 

“Fuck, look at you, Rey…”

Kylo trails off like he’s lost his words, trying to remain as stoic as possible. His eyes belie his exhilaration at seeing her longing for his touch, bending down to lap her nipples and lightly bite her tits. She writhes against his weapon as he keeps driving it onto her, reeling with the thought of unfurling & expanding to accept its width. It intensifies both her hunger and mortification when she acknowledges she’s daydreaming about being split open by something so rigid and unnatural, her moan becoming a petulant whine when he kneels up to glance behind them again —

Kylo pales and yanks the saber away, scurrying from Rey’s thighs to slap it back onto the bench. He stumbles slightly as he stands like he’s awakening from a daze, checking the chronometer above the doorway once more. Her throat moves as she swallows and sits back straight, clapping her knees together instinctively when she sees him smoothing his clothes.

She’s surprised by how much her words waver when she asks, “What — What are you —”

“The humanoid officer. With the hair.” Kylo gestures to the top of his head, then the exit, his responses still clipped and unfocused. “She’ll be here any minute.”

Rey jumps to her feet with a tiny yelp, eyes wide as she straightens her breastband and shuffles down her shirt. Connix rarely fails to follow her daily routine while on base, which includes coming down to the training area for a circuit around the machines. Rey peeks into the adjoining room, fixing her messed hair and trying to steady her pulse. She exhales slowly, finding it tricky to even her breathing so soon after —

“Do you really think it was a mistake?”

A flush still shines Rey’s cheeks when she spins to face Kylo again. He keeps a couple feet between them and flicks away some strands of hair falling over his angular nose. She shifts her weight, having trouble staying still with her stomach and thoughts and pussy so unsettled.

“…I don’t know,” she croaks, crossing her arms and looking away to his feet.

Rey swears she feels his stare harden when he bristles at her continued uncertainty, “Why are you so afraid of being found out if it turns you on this much?”

“Ben —”

“It’s fine. I get it.”

He doesn’t provide her an opportunity to protest, instead returning to the bench to reclip the saber in its holster and drape it unbuckled over one broad shoulder. Rey grows increasingly flustered watching Kylo’s staccato motions, clearly dispirited despite their frustrated edge. He huffs and doesn’t meet her eyes when he brushes past her to exit the room, not looking back when Rey follows and clears her throat,

“No, it’s just…”

He stops beside the entrance to the sonic showers, dropping his hand from the latch to indicate he’s listening. She gathers her nerve and searches for a way to articulate her allegiance despite feeling oddly set apart… still an arm’s length away from most of the Resistance with powers she doesn’t entirely understand. These people have been her anchor, offering her a place to return when she had nowhere to go. Even though she hasn’t found that sense of belonging she wished for when she slept listening to winds tumble the desert sands.

Rey breathes deeply through her nose. “I have a lot here, Ben.”

A couple seconds pass as he considers her words, his end of the bond still loosened enough to expose his doubt. He cuts her off quickly, but she can tell he’s convinced it’s because of _him_ — that it’s because she would never want to be seen standing by his side.

Kylo’s fingers tense visibly as he reaches for the latch again. “I get it.”

Her heart leaps and she stammers to explain, “These people, these —”

Rey’s mouth hangs open when he snaps back to face her. “I’m not going to make you leave if you don’t want to, Rey.”

“I —”

“But I do hope you come.”

Kylo leaves to cut through the showers and go out the side door closer to his cabin. She watches the doorway slide shut with a resonating click, scratching the back of her neck as the empty room’s silence becomes uncomfortable. Her thoughts race so rapidly that she doesn’t notice she’s running until she’s already outside, her lungs burning when she gasps for fresh air. Rey slows her steps, spotting a slim figure winding down the path from base. She wonders if her cheeks are still red when she passes Connix with a small wave, barely able to meet her eyes.

Rey glances back towards the treeline, only seeing a corner of Kylo’s quarters from this angle. And she doesn’t stop walking until she lays down in her cot, even though it’s the middle of the day. The knowledge of how close she was to being found is dizzying, laying her palm over her sternum to count her heartbeats as she wills for them to slow.

…

…

…

The rest of the day passes quickly as Rey completes the motions of her routine, her thoughts trailing elsewhere as she paces during her surveillance shift and laughs at Finn’s jokes during dinner. She leaves to return to her room and sits on the edge of her cot in a daze, still sorting through everything she felt earlier. Her hips shift as she recalls Kylo’s voice coming low to tease her and it stirs that same warmth that guided her to ignore her common sense so easily. She can’t decide if she’s embarrassed or intrigued by her lingering desire to have him do it again. Or by the way she tightens instinctively when she remembers the stiff ring of the saber pressing against her entrance through her clothes. Or by the way he said he hopes she comes with him, the invitation more tempting than she’d like to admit.

She doesn’t decide to confront him until after the planet’s suns sink below the horizon, setting aside the small part of her suggesting that maybe she’s really confronting herself. Rey passes a few fellow soldiers when she wanders the hallways to the northern exit, checking behind her to confirm the corridor is empty before keying the pad to leave. The field is deserted, the trodden grass looking grayed under the darkened night sky. She crosses her arms and her careful footsteps are amplified in her ears, picking up speed as she checks behind her and wonders if she’s being seen. Rey catches her breath when she makes it to the treeline, swallowing hard when she realizes Kylo’s cabin is empty. No lights illuminate the small square windows and she stops at the entrance to listen for movements inside.

A soft breeze withers through the trees, rustling their leaves like they’re concealing her secret, and Rey tries the manual doorknob. It’s unlocked and she hesitates briefly before pushing the door open to step inside. The quarters are small, with a kitchenette by the entry and a two-seat sofa in a cramped sitting area next to the doors for the fresher and his bedroom. A holopad lays dormant on a round table by an emptied bag. She tiptoes to close the door behind her, grinding her teeth when the hinges creak, and several moments pass as she waits for him to appear.

But everything stays still, cast in beams of moonlight filtering through the unshuttered windows. Her chest tightens when she realizes she’s alone, unsure when he will return to find her here. Rey wets her lips as she steps further inside instead of turning to flee.

She shuffles slowly towards the bedroom, the doorway half-opened with his cloak hanging from the knob. Rey steps over the pooled fabric gingerly as she peeks inside the long narrow room, which contains a cot against one wall, a closet along the other, and not much else. Her pulse thumps in her ears, loud enough for it to sound like it’s echoing in the empty cabin. The sheets are slightly crumpled on his hastily-made bed, a misshapen pillow lays at the head and a couple extras are against the wall. Her throat goes dry when she spots his saber resting at the foot of the mattress, innocently un-holstered and out in plain sight.

Rey exhales slowly as her prior ruminations swim to the surface, kindling that same traitorous heat that pools down to make her trousers feel strange. Her curiosity and desire are charged by the symmetry of circumstances, granted another opportunity to hurry for her release before someone walks in. It’s odd for Kylo to be without his weapon, usually keeping it clipped on his belt for even the most mundane situations… But still Rey sweeps closer to the bed, asking herself if maybe she’s excited by the idea of being caught instead.

The thought rattles her nerves, her hand shaking as she reprops one pillow along the wall and clambers onto the mattress. It sinks beneath her as she crawls slowly on the surface, making the saber roll closer when she disturbs the sheets. She can smell Kylo faintly when she turns about to lean against the wall with the pillow at her back, the half-opened doorway visible from her perch. The scent makes her outstretched legs squirm.

Her eyes widen when her movements roll the saber towards her until it rests next to her knee. She feels the cool metal through the thin fabric of her trousers, the sharp angles lightly grazing her covered skin. Rey bites her lip and she clenches unconsciously, her cunt already messy from mere memory. She reaches down and stops, her hand hovering above the weapon as she shakes her head to dissuade herself one last time —

— And her cheeks burn when she grabs it, circling its width with her nimble fingers that look tiny compared to Kylo’s grip. She brings it to her lap, turning it over to check the covered safety is engaged, resettling the way she sits to remind herself to keep her legs closed. She points the crossguard to the ceiling, examining the way the handle flares slightly at the bottom with spaced & rounded vents. A red wire trails down one side, the handle’s middle just a hair skinnier than the portions above & beneath. It’s weightier than she expects but it could be the awkward angle, idly twirling it in her hands as she imagines being broken in half by acting as its sheath. 

She starts to tremble and become unsteady, both ignited and ashamed when she bends her knees. She straightens up against the wall, resting her feet flat on the bed to open completely like in the gym before, making her feel exposed despite being fully clothed. She rocks her hips slightly as she lowers the saber between her thighs, tilting up to meet it when she rubs the rounded bottom against her cunt.

Initially she scrunches her nose, embarrassed by her own action but still wanting more. She changes her grip on the handle to circle over her clit, shifting the unyielding material to feel it spread & smear her slick. The picture of her stretching to take it in flashes behind her eyelids like an intrusive thought, lowering it down to dab lazily against her entrance. This time she knows she’s damp enough for the pressure to wet the fabric, taking the handle away to see a darkened patch beneath.

The things she found and used alone on Jakku seem like poor substitutes in hindsight, none both as sized and rigid as this. And nothing there belonged to someone so profoundly, crafted under the guise of being an extension of its owner. The actual transgression and implied possession of its entry heightens the stakes as well as her nerves, her head dazed by lust when she drops the saber to shimmy out of her trousers. She kicks them off her ankles along with her boots, shuddering when they clatter to the floor and her underwear feels fuzzy against her heated core.

Her hand slides behind the fabric before she reminds herself to stop, wincing when she slips a finger inside and sees how soaked she is. She drags it up to wet her clit, glancing up to the empty doorway when her chest starts to heave. She squeezes her eyes shut as she moans, tightening up around nothing when she asks herself if she really wants to be found by him like this. Her stomach lurches and she nods, slapping away all the reasonable things she tells herself to twist her panties down below her knees. She discards them urgently to reposition her feet and parts her thighs again. 

The air is crisp and her cunt pulses in time with her shiver. She curves her hips to unfold more, as much as possible until it stings. Rey grabs the saber blindly, knuckles turning white when she reaffirms her grip. Her other hand comes down to open herself further with two fingers, grinding her jaw anxiously when she glides the handle’s bottom slowly up & down her widened seams. One knee bounces when the cool material initially shocks her. Her body slowly relaxes as she listens to the murky sounds of her wetness coating the base.

She rubs a corner along her clit with a heady groan, lingering to apply more pressure and to sense her walls becoming more yielding. She holds her breath, slanting down more as she guides the saber between her fingers to dip it inside. But the opening is just too narrow and her fingers ache as she spans them a little wider, concentrating on finding a way to make it fit. She purses her lips as her shame reignites to redden her face, burning as she struggles to center herself enough to push it all in.

Rey withdraws with a tiny sopped sound, her digits slightly glazed in the moonlight when she circles the handle to double her effort. Both fists tighten as she presses her back against the wall and shoves the saber hard against her inflexible slit. Her exasperation grows when she can’t steer it into her own body, knowing that she should be able to and baffled why she unconsciously denies herself this release.

And it almost hurts when her lower half contracts to push against it, demanding she keep it out as she fights to plunge it in. Her vision mists with tears, the grayed room blurring with frustration when her cunt leaks heavily. She swipes some up to coat the bottom of the handle, making it glossy before she tries again, whimpering when she continues to fail and churns to be relieved. The scent of her arousal is thick in her nose and she reels with the understanding that she’s gone beyond the point of no return. Even if she left now, her presence is obvious everywhere (dripped on his sheets and painted on his weapon) and tears stream down her cheeks when she bumps the saber uselessly against herself once more.

She reslants the position to grind against the shaft vertically, rubbing it on her clit as she wets more of the handle along her unfurled opening. Her legs start to shake when she builds quickly, twirling it to drag the exposed wire over her sensitive skin. It catches briefly as it smudges over her nub and Rey gasps with the sensation — moaning when she twists it back to do it again, her mouth dropping when —

The front door creaks closed.

Everything cringes and comes to a sudden halt.

Her expression drains, her toes curl in, and her heartbeats speed.

An unseen object drops to the floor before it’s silent again. She senses something pricking her end of the bond, playful but purposeful, guiding his slow footsteps closer and suggesting she stay in place. She peers between her legs with grim acceptance of the eventuality she knew was there, her face flushed by the thrill and indignity of being —

“Rey.”

She snaps to the opened doorway to meet Kylo’s gaze, staring hard to assess her while he stands completely still. He examines her contorted position, her bared lower half, and her tear-streaked cheeks — settling on her tiny fists clutching his saber determinedly. A guarded joy widens his eyes as he memorizes the scene, shifting his jaw when he sweeps closer to stand at the edge of the bed. Seeing him loom above her makes her feel cornered, but she doesn’t move at all.

“You wanted me to find you like this?” he asks.

The saber’s handle covers her entrance between her legs and her wrists flinch reflexively. Rey wets her lips when the tiny motions nudge her clit, her limbs visibly shuddering from the hints of stimulation. It ripples across their bond as Kylo bends down, resting his palms next to her feet. She leans her head against the wall and he exhales slowly, both of them perceiving the tension winding in their connection.

“So desperate to get fucked you can’t even wait?”

The mattress dips when he crawls onto the bed, kneeling to balance himself as his hands skim up her calves and down her inner thighs. He presses the soft skin bordering her hair like he’s testing something, biting inside his cheek when she grinds the handle slowly and the sensation skews her face.

He chooses his words carefully, failing to keep his breaths even, “You should be ashamed of yourself, Rey, a good little Jedi like you wanting your cunt broken like some common whore?”

She starts to cry again as she nods, the guilt sinking when the tears welling in her eyes maze down her cheeks. Her insides writhe with the possibility that she’s gone too far, that she’s scared him off with such an appallingly brazen display. Her chest hurts as she starts to pant with the thought, her desire intensified by both disclosing her secret and wanting to make him stay. Her shoulders shrug when she sniffles, wondering whether he’ll revoke his invitation to leave — but she places her hands below the crossguard and repositions the handle’s bottom to prod against her opening again.

He taps his fingers along her skin, shifting his weight on his knees as his trousers start tenting suspiciously. He furrows his brows, concentrating on how her borders pulse to strain the wide ring inside her. The worked hood of her clit is smeared back, exposing the tiny swelling nub as she fails to gain entry again. Rey doesn’t know what to make of his darkened & stunned expression, stammering when she realizes she hasn’t spoken since he’s come in,

“I — I can’t — It won’t —”

Kylo rushes to remove his gloves, tossing them over his shoulder to land unnoticed on the floor. He yanks the saber away from her, twirling his wrist to glimpse at the soaked handle, turning back with a raised eyebrow when Rey whines pitifully.

“You know I made this, Rey?” He smirks when she doesn’t respond. “Spent countless hours crafting it to stabilize the crystal to have you leak all over it?”

He clicks his tongue and Rey squints her eyes shut, too heated & dizzy to watch the feigned disappointment in his face. Her defenses are lowered enough for her yearning to bleed through, intense enough for Kylo to gasp when he presses against them. Her hands linger by her pussy, trembling as she longs for him to taunt her compromising circumstances again.

“Y — Yes —”

“To have you sneak into my room and rub all over it like you don’t even care?”

Another tear falls from her chin and she nods, her voice barely above a whisper, “Yes —”

Her eyelids flutter open when he leans in to wipe away her tears with his thumb, her vision misty as he kisses her cheek and murmurs in her ear,

“Does that turn you on, defiling my things with your filthy cunt?”

He cradles her chin with his hand when she nods again, his hair falling in his face when he gapes down to see her clench in response. She wants to see too but can’t with her head held in place, the imposed distance making her even wetter when he hesitates for a few moments longer.

“Ben —”

“You want me to make it feel better, Rey?”

Each syllable curls low with meaning, edging sharply with a creaturely instinct that makes Rey worry she’s dripping on the sheets. She rocks her pelvis impatiently, wriggling when his other hand rustles nearby. He inches inward instead of running, drawing his lips so close to hers that she tastes his sweat on her teeth.

“Let me help…”

She groans into his mouth as he kisses her, deepening it eagerly with his tongue. Her knees clap Kylo’s hips when he cages her in, grabbing her ass to pry her from the wall. He nudges her to move to the head of the bed and she wobbles following his lead, flopping down on the pillow as he crawls between her thighs. The ceiling spins and Rey listens to him scurry out of his trousers, sitting up to peel off her shirt when she realizes he’s removing his. She didn’t wrap her breasts but he doesn’t say anything, too distracted by how she’s presented to even notice it’s missing.

Rey props herself on her elbows and admires the size of his hard & ready cock when he starts to tug his length. She observes his roving hand expectantly, knowing he’s leering at her opening when he says,

“You’ll never get it in if you stay that tight.”

His other hand sweeps in to pry a pair of fingers inside, his jaw dropping when she clenches hard and soaks his knuckles. She yelps when he scissors them wide, her own hand flying down to circle over her clit. He shushes her gently, crowding a third digit in as she bounces against the rhythm of his wrist.

“Shh, relax… That’s it…”

She slumps flat on her back and cinches her knees a little more, slackening her walls when he evens his pace. Rey crinkles her nose as the telltale clicking sound of his cock becomes more pronounced in her ears, prompting Kylo to twist his wrist and spread his fingers to gauge her readiness again. She isn’t sure if his clinical curiosity is arousing or unsettling, grimacing when he shoves hard to wedge deeper. Their eyes meet when she props up on her elbows once more, his half-lidded gaze glimmering with lust and delight as their bond seems to sing with encouragement.

“Ben, I —”

Rey cries out when he slips another finger in, clustering the four of them together to fill her tight.

He drops his hand from his cock to clutch her knee, gripping to keep her still when she writhes inelegantly, “Almost there —”

He pumps roughly and Rey bites her lip hard enough to draw blood. Kylo angles to burrow deeper, emboldened by her scrunched features and gritting teeth. He crooks his thumb to swipe her clit and her moans roll long & heavy when the stretch starts to ache. But he drives in more vigorously, her lower half quivering to accommodate him.

She bucks onto him more, his ominous tone guiding her along. “Just like that…”

“Ben — Oh gods —” His fingers squirm and she whines loud enough for her to wonder if it can be heard outside. “Please —”

Her body’s noises are messy as she pushes involuntarily against his intrusion, his motions becoming more stuttered over her clit. She arches her back and grabs the sheets.

“Perfect,” he whispers shakily.

His hand leaves her knee to fumble on the mattress, refusing to look away from her cunt. She pulses on him and he halts to summon the saber silently, tensing his jaw when he brings it between her thighs. He traces one of her expanded seams with the handle, bumping it against his plugged fingers.

He exhales heavily to flush her entrance, like fogging up a mirror. “That’s it —”

Kylo adjusts again, curling away two digits while prying her wide with the pair left inside. “Sure you can take it, Rey?”

“Fuck — Yes — Please —”

“Just a little more —”

He pokes her calf with the handle to signal her to move. She hesitates before he nods to encourage her with a devious grin. Rey purses her lips when she hooks her hands behind her knees to bend them back towards her chest. She tears up again, squinting her eyes shut when she steps outside herself to imagine what someone else would see — folding over to present herself gaping open so shamelessly. But the thought drives her desperation even further, wiggling to spur him to continue.

“There…”

Kylo positions the handle’s ring against her, dipping one end against her borders to start edging it inside. Rey presses her cheek to the pillow when she feels its unnatural composition, trying to steady her shallow breaths. He moves slowly and precisely, shifting his jaw as the top wedges in. His scissored fingers pull her down when he guides the remaining portion along on his knuckles as he slides them out.

He pauses to wipe his fingers off on her thighs. He smears her wetness on her skin, it’s much more than she expects, and the saber cinches in a little more when she recoils. Her chest tightens when he pushes the first inch slowly until she swallows the flared tip. The narrow ridges of the handle’s spaced vents are smooth enough not to scrape, but pointed enough to sting.

She sucks the bite on her lip and a tear falls down her cheek. “It’s so big —”

“You love having your cunt stretched like this? Being a good girl on her back begging for it —”

Kylo loses his words when Rey inhales sharply and her fingers flutter behind her knees. “More —”

Another inch eases in. Her eyes widen and she pales, her body shocked into a defensive awareness. The handle jiggles slightly when Kylo recircles his grip below the crossguard and Rey makes a low pained sound. He shudders hearing her awkward breaths, fascinated by the taut shape of her strained pussy as she soaks heavily.

“Oh gods!” Rey cries out again, prompting him to look up.

She fidgets on the pillow trying to settle around its girth, dizzy from the sensation. Her stomach twists hard and her palms sweat, her feet pattering in the air as she loses her hold on her knees. The mattress creaks as Kylo kneels in, meeting her eyes as she hollows her cheeks.

“Fuck, look at you, Rey…” He splays his hand over the plane of skin below her navel.

The handle pulses as she tries to stay loose. Kylo tilts his pelvis to graze his cock along the shaft, smudging off a bead of pre-come from his tip. He shudders visibly, rubbing small circles on her stomach when he prods her along,

“You want more?”

“Yes!” she blurts out, almost shouting.

“Sure your tiny cunt can take it?”

He doesn’t wait for her to answer, pushing in another inch. She wails against the friction, planting her feet back on the bed and curling her hands into fists by her sides. Kylo watches her pant & cringe, her forehead shining in the dimmed bedroom from the pressure splitting her in half.

“Are you sure?”

His predatory tone is alluring, thinned by the dreamy wonder of realized fantasy. Her fingers go between her legs to rub over her swollen clit, her heart pounding against her ribs. She’s frantic to prove both her fitness and willingness, her mind racing from how stuffed she feels already. Her abs tighten when she sits up slightly to see Kylo better, his broad form hiding most of the room from view. The angle makes him tower over her, even bent on his knees, and she’s desperate for him to seal her completely.

“Fuck, yes, Ben, you’re so big…”

That seems to work. He clutches the saber hard, adjusting it less tenderly as he strokes himself again. She can tell he’s building quickly, tugging the end of his cock to cut himself back.

“Almost —”

Kylo twists the handle as he slides it forward. The vents & wire drag along her walls, shaping her to their angles with lurid slick noises. She doesn’t recognize the sounds she makes when it taps against where she ends, clamping down on the saber when her thighs bounce & shake. Kylo nudges his side to confirm, marveling at the way she huffs when it pokes her cervix playfully.

“Tell me how full you feel, Rey.”

Shallow breaths break up his words as he increases the speed of his hand on his cock, staring hard at her impaled body. Every nerve and vein inside her flares as her pleasure swells, pinning beneath her skin like she’s going to burst.

“Oh gods, you’re so fucking hard, so —” She realizes she’s babbling, but doesn’t care. “I’ve never been so full, Ben —”

She gasps when he grabs the saber to dip it out a couple inches and push it back in. Her hips rock in time with his movements, chasing the novel sensation of the handle’s size and vents. It slides more smoothly with each thrust as she glazes the rigid material and watches Kylo’s fiery eyes, intensely focused on the way her cunt yields to him.

“Ben — I’m so close, please, just —”

He twists it once more, jolting her to swallow her words as she whimpers heatedly. She tears up again, embarrassed by how exhilarated she is to be fucked by something so artificial and sacred — by something tied to Kylo so inexorably. His cock twinges in his stalled hand but she feels wholly occupied from within, totally claimed by him as she crashes towards completion. Her bond’s defenses shatter and his face changes when her voice whines in the spaces between his thoughts,

_Please — just like that, just like —_

He nods quickly, not missing a beat. “You’re taking me so well, you going to come for me now?”

She’s too swept away to speak, her mind gasping to answer instead, _Oh gods, please, Ben, don’t stop —_

And he doesn’t, dropping his length to press her knee open and improve his view. She can’t stop staring at his cock, like it’s pointing at her all stiff and worked from his hand. Rey’s sloppy fingers keeps fumbling over her clit as she groans, nearing her climax with sounds she’s never made piercing the tension in the empty room.

“I need you come real hard and loud for me, can you do that, Rey?”

_Fuck! — Yes! —_

He eggs her on in a wondering tone, “You know how beautiful you look like this? How cute your little pussy is when it tries to keep me inside?”

She grunts and ruts against the weapon, closing her eyes and wringing tight to feel every inch. The images from her daydreams seem too tame compared to the real thing, to being sheathed like this. Kylo’s elation is obvious in their bond and in his movements, the both of them spilling their emotions messily with the other through their connection. He notices her prior fantasies and sends a picture of what he sees. The scene flashes behind her eyelids — her cunt widened and plugged full while his large fist angles the handle beneath — and her thoughts scatter helplessly when it drives her over the edge.

“Fuck!” _Ben — I —_ “Oh gods!” _I’m so close, I can’t —_

“Come for me, Rey —”

She’s loud like she promised, amplifying every uninhibited noise falling from her lips. The saber doesn’t twinge when her body bobs around it like his dick would, instead remaining firm and unrelenting as she soaks it heavily with her release. It magnifies the sense of being small and conquered by her willing exposure, of being found only to be submerged beneath. Her entrance is damp and glistened, finally pliant and heated enough for her to feel that strain she’s seeked. Kylo drops his hand from the weapon and its weight sinks Rey’s pelvis to the sheets. He crawls around & over her to pin her with his knees by her hips, perching up to palm himself over her wilting form. It doesn’t take him long to peak, grunting when he spills heavily all over her stomach and tits. She shakes and yelps as she comes down, her body tensing and making his spend pool on her skin.

She blinks wearily, chest heaving as she meets Kylo’s gaze. They remain still and linger in the moment together, waiting for the other to speak. The darkened room is silent and everything seems dreamlike & faraway, like this place and this feeling of completion is all that exists. The saber remains slotted inside her and Rey shifts her weight beneath him when her cunt starts to hurt. He raises his eyebrows, impressed by the mess he’s made, his throat moving when he swallows and tells her to

“Stay there a second.”

He climbs off her to stand at the edge of the bed, eyes darting up and down to remember every detail of the scene. He adjusts himself before sweeping down to clasp the handle gingerly and notices wet spots where she dripped on the sheets. Rey inhales sharply as he drags his saber out very slowly, recircling his grip closer to the bottom to ease out the flared end. Its exit stings just slightly and the air makes her widened entrance feel cool & relieved as it collapses back quickly. She straightens her legs, stretching them out on the mattress and curling her toes, overly aware of how her cunt pleasantly aches.

Kylo turns the saber over in his hand, examining the coated vents, and deadpans, “Wonder how long this will take to clean.”

She glares playfully as he lays it on the end-table and puts up one finger to signal he’ll be back in a second. He leaves the room and Rey stares at the ceiling as she listens to him pad into the fresher and run the sink a little bit, opening & closing a cabinet and making something creak. Her nerves feel inflamed as her heartbeats slow and she works to keep still, not wanting his come to drip all over the already-trashed sheets. She looks up when he returns with a couple towels and sits on the bed.

Rey grimaces when he leans in and smudges a wet drop away from her chin, her cheeks flushed by both her satisfaction and confusion. But neither one of them say anything as he wipes her off softly, taking longer than he needs to rub each smooth plane of skin. The cabin is hushed like it's holding its breath and their bond remains peeked open just enough to hum pleasantly between them.

She steals a glance every few seconds, her stomach fluttering seeing the way he looks down on her with a longing & reverence that catches her off-guard. Her throat goes dry when he grazes her nipples with his palms, trying not to shudder beneath his touch.

_Stay with me tonight._

Their eyes meet and he knows she heard him, tilting his head when she worries the bite on her lip. Rey leans up on her elbows to check the chronometer on the opposite wall. It’s earlier than it seems and she wonders if anyone notices her absence from the usual social gatherings at the other side of the base. No voices or footsteps or clattering of flasks echo across the field. The moonlit treeline casts longer shadows across the floor.

She nods, also choosing not to speak aloud. _Okay._

He gathers the towels and throws them into a hamper in the narrow closet, glancing back at Rey like she might change her mind and leave. He gestures for her to get up and she hops off the bed to strip the fitted sheet, letting him cut in front of her to toss a couple blankets on the bare mattress and take the bundled fabric from her arms. She crawls back onto the bed, gathering a blanket about her as she inches close to the wall, trying to appear as casual as possible despite having trouble resting her hips comfortably.

Kylo flops down at the end of the bed, creeping his hand below the blanket to snake between her parted knees as he crawls beside her. But she doesn’t flinch when he rests the heel of his palm on her sore entrance, massaging small circles like relaxing an overworked muscle after training. There’s a joy weaving through their connection, like Kylo struggles to hold something back. He shifts his jaw nervously when their eyes meet once more.

_It wasn’t a mistake, Rey._

She hesitates to confess what her heart insists on saying, swallowing hard before she does. _I don’t think it was either._

He offers a lopsided smile, disarming her with its unusual vulnerability. She wonders if he can sense her counting the days before he plans to leave, wanting to find some way to make him stay. But a part of her pictures sailing the galaxy without destination, watching stars streak by the cockpit as she squeezes his hand and imagines a hopeful future.

Kylo doesn’t nudge their bond or ask her to elaborate her disorganized thoughts, instead coming under the blankets to rest beside her and hold her close to him. She listens to his quiet breaths and turns to face him, nuzzling her forehead against his neck and down his chest to anchor him in place.

 _You don’t have to decide right now,_ he tells her, barely louder than a whisper.

He wraps his arm tighter around her waist and a breeze rustles the trees outside the window, lulling Rey to relax and drift into a peaceful sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my betas [elemie89](http://www.archiveofourown.org/users/elemie89) and [weddersins](http://www.archiveofourown.org/users/weddersins) for their friendship and second set of eyes. Big thank you to my readers & fandom friends for all the fun and support the past almost-year. If you enjoyed, leave a kudos and/or comment here to let me know. Your feedback motivates me to write more fics.
> 
> Come say hi on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/theselittlefics)  
> Or on my seldom-used [Tumblr](http://littlethingsfic.tumblr.com) & [Pillowfort](http://www.pillowfort.io/theselittlethings)
> 
> Check out my [page](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theselittlethings/works) for more smutty one-shots
> 
> COMPLETE:  
> [The Black Forest](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14400549/chapters/33255489) (a spooky, sexy, and dark post-tlj canonverse story)
> 
> WIPS:  
> [Heaven Shall Make Amends](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16331297/chapters/38206478) (salem witch trials au)  
> [Quintessence of Dust](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16745281/chapters/39283363) (canon-divergent ophelia/hamlet au)


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